A Note Most Poetic, And Rather Pathetic
by oursolemnhour49
Summary: Death Note as you've never read it before- in bizarrely structured poems with an emphasis on lunacy. Crack, but strangely amusing to write.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't ask. Please. And I don't own Death Note.**

* * *

There once was a Death God named Ryuk,  
Who came down to Earth with a notebook.  
Light was a good student  
Who was quite imprudent  
And decided that he'd take a look.

The notebook contained a set of rules  
Comprehensible even to fools.  
But no fool was Light,  
He was, in fact, rather bright;  
The top of his class at school.

"Killing someone by writing a name?  
Surely this is a joke rather lame!"  
That was Light's thought,  
But his curiosity fought,  
And got the better of his shame.

Taking a pen and watching the news,  
He saw a hostage crisis to use.  
He wrote down the name  
Of the criminal to blame  
Thinking he had nothing to lose.

To Light's amazement the criminal died,  
And all the hostages emerged alive.  
He at first was in shock,  
As though beaned by a rock.  
But chose to give the notebook a test drive.

He made his way to his class as usual,  
And saw his schoolmates being brutal.  
From a desire to avoid suspicion,  
He killed a stranger with extreme precision  
To stop a harassment sexual.

When Ryuk found him five days later  
It was hard to say whose surprise was greater.  
The Death God's appearance took Light aback,  
While Ryuk was impressed that Light was intact  
After killing off criminals like nothing was greater.

Ryuk told Light unashamedly  
That he would stand by and watch him idly  
But when the time came  
He would write down Light's name  
In the notebook, and Light took this mildly.

Meanwhile in a meeting of police  
The killings were causing much grief.  
A stranger was watching,  
And mildly scoffing,  
For he would be their only relief.

* * *

** I think I just had to get this out of my system; I tried to fight it, but couldn't get the first stanza out of my head for months. If you enjoy Death Note being retold in poorly written rhymes, I am open to continuing this, but you have to tell me :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well... yeah. People seemed to want more of this. And when WhiteLadyDragon asked why I hadn't continued it, I checked the doc and found I had written some stanzas- well, I figured I could get it up and running :) ****This is chapters 2 and 3.**

**Still don't own anything.**

* * *

The police knew they needed a detective,  
Preferably the one most effective  
In solving strange crimes.  
But at the best of times  
'L' was always very selective.

But L had taken an interest  
In Kira, so their worries were needless.  
They brought him in on the case  
Not knowing his face,  
And listening to him were struck speechless.

Meanwhile Light was savoring  
The rise of Kira's following.  
He declaimed about people  
And good and evil  
Till he saw what the news was broadcasting:

A man announced that he was 'L'  
A detective whose talents were swell.  
He said Light was vile,  
Which got the boy riled,  
And he killed the man swiftly and well.

But there was a slight problem for Light  
The real 'L' was also quite bright  
And had found a proxy  
By means most foxy,  
And the proxy was the man Light had iced.

Meanwhile the police were diligently  
Striving to find Kira's identity  
They looked at the times  
Of each of the crimes  
And discoursed on Kira's popularity.

Meanwhile Light was helping  
His sister with equation solving.  
He hid the note swiftly,  
For Ryuk's visibility  
Was compromised by Sayu's visiting.

He proceeded then to baffle police  
By killing at any time with ease.  
L was annoyed and fairly sure  
That Kira was trying to lure  
Him out and was being a tease.

Ryuk himself was interested  
In the confidence Light projected.  
When Light's father came home,  
Light's reasons were shown.  
His father of police was Deputy Head.

* * *

**Yeah, this still hasn't lost any of its bizarreness.  
**

**If you liked it, let me know! XD  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**So this took me a while, as I think this story will. But the lovely sabrina4455** **reviewed and it kickstarted me on getting this next part up. **

**This section is chapters 4-6 of the original manga, which I still do not own or have any affiliation with.**

* * *

Light took measures to hide the notebook  
While L pondered the crimes in an unseen nook.  
Ryuk wondered why Light  
Who he knew to be bright,  
Was giving L hints as to where to look.

Light explained he had to find L  
And he knew the police quite well.  
They would investigate,  
Reveal L to fate,  
And Light then would send him to hell.

Meanwhile police resigned from fear:  
"We've had enough of the goings-on here.  
L is hiding away  
While every day  
We risk our lives and families dear."

Light hid the note in a place fantastic  
With fuel, electricity, and some tricks.  
It would burst into flame  
If anyone came.  
(Just forget gasoline burns through plastic).

L reviewed and called in the FBI,  
One tailed Light and caught Ryuk's eye.  
He pointed out the man  
And Light began to plan  
How to use this in a manner most sly.

Ryuk revealed that Shinagimi survived  
By killing and taking the years of lives.  
Names they could see  
And lifespans free,  
But Light would have to trade for their eyes.

Light chose not to make the trade;  
He wanted to live long in the world he made.  
He philosophized more  
Then went back to work, for  
He had to shake the follower he'd gained.

He went on to kill at random times,  
Sending messages, riddles, and rhymes.  
L was frustrated  
His cool faded,  
But he guessed Kira was testing his mind.

Light found out his plan had worked.  
The details of death in the computer lurked.  
He saw his schedule  
Had played out quite well;  
Only the impossible the notebook had shirked.

* * *

**Seriously, Light's plan for hiding the Death Note, though it's quite ingenious, would have resulted in it getting soaked in gasoline- plastic bags cannot hold that substance, they just get eaten through. Something to do with the molecular structure of the material, which I can't remember in detail.**

**Review and I may actually update in a timely fashion next time!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is still going on, though I don't know for how much longer- I've got a serious story in the works that should be up in a week or so (yes, I'm actually capable of writing serious things. Really and truly). Not to mention college takes up my time and this project is just bizarre.**

**Still don't own Death Note. Though if I did this is probably how I would tell it. This is chapters 7 and 8 of the manga.  
**

* * *

Light prepared himself for a date  
Knowing he had a plan quite great  
To dispose of the agent  
In a daring gambit  
With a bus and a criminal's fate.

When Light and Yuri got on the bus  
The agent followed without a fuss.  
Then the criminal came  
And without shame  
Began shouting and waving a blunderbuss.

While the criminal made a scene  
Light told Yuri not to scream  
While he went for the man.  
And according to plan,  
The agent began to intervene.

He informed Light that he was FBI,  
And that Light should let him handle the guy.  
Light asked for ID  
Which was the key  
For the agent to be sent to the sky.

After obtaining the agent's name  
Light made his next move in the game.  
He dropped in the aisle  
A Death Note to rile  
The criminal and make him insane.

When the man caught sight of Ryuk  
He was quite sure his goose was cooked.  
His screams of fear  
Were loud and clear.  
His fate had already been booked.

When he tried to flee the scene  
He fell to the road with a cry obscene  
A car was coming  
Its tires thrumming,  
And alive he was no longer seen.

After the crash, the agent dropped in  
To see his fiancée and tell her of the din.  
She made suggestions;  
He crushed her objections,  
And told her she should stay in the kitchen.

Several days later, all Japanese-stationed  
FBI were killed without discrimination  
L was in shock,  
The agency was rocked,  
And assistance vanished from Americans.


End file.
